You are an eggplant (Q.E.D.)

If we divide by zero, we can prove literally anything. For example, "You are an eggplant." (Wikimedia Commons user Takeaway / Wikimedia Commons)

If we divide by zero, we can prove literally anything. For example, “You are an eggplant.” (Wikimedia Commons user Takeaway / Wikimedia Commons)

I will now prove that you are an eggplant.

Let

We have that

We can also conclude that

Subtracting the first equation from the second equation will give you

With a little bit of simple algebra, I think you can convince yourself that

Everything good so far? Now we will divide both sides by and this will yield

Now, would you believe that

by subtracting from both sides?

Let’s say that you do believe in the above equation.

Since the setup of the equation was that , we have

Let’s call this equation [Eq]. Going further, I can assume that you have one head but 1=0 so you have no head. Likewise you have no green stem therefore you have one green stem.
Multiplying both sides of [Eq] by 2 gives

I assume that you have two arms and two legs, so you have no arms or legs.

Now multiply your waist size by [Eq] which means


In other words, you taper to a point around your waist.

Going one step further, take any beam of light reflected off of you and multiply the wavelength of the photons by [Eq]

Additionally, multiply [Eq] by 400nm and equate it with the equation above which gives


where 400nm is the wavelength of the color purple.

Putting them altogether, we just concluded that you have a green stem, are tapered to a point around the waist, and are of color purple.

You are clearly an eggplant. (Q.E.D) [1]

No, you are not an eggplant.
So where did we go wrong?

There is one procedure which was fraud in the above proof, and it was the division by. Since we set , we are essentially dividing by 0, which leads us to get That’s just silly. I’m sure you’ve heard countless times that you cannot divide by 0.

But why can’t we divide by 0?

Because dividing by 0 destroys the framework of logic, allowing us to prove ANYTHING in the universe.

Non-believers and believers will agree on the existence of God (no God means one God or any number of gods) and physicists will no longer have the desire to explore the existence of a multiverse (universe is the same as a multiverse – but it may be interesting to investigate what it means to have no universe).

With the above method, you can prove the existence of UFOs, and Nessie, too. This raises the question “what is the purpose of science?”

We don’t want to destroy the beauty of science, and science is based on logic, facts, and evidence. That’s why we don’t divide by 0.

Notes: This was inspired by “Zero: The Biography of a Dangerous Idea” by Charles Seife.
[1] Q.E.D. (quod erat demonstrandum) signals the end of a successful mathematical proof.
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